Are you wondering whether it’s good or bad to date your boss. She goes on to say, I’m really into him and so I’d love to see examples of people meeting at their jobs and especially if one person was working a more “authoritative” position and things turning out well.
It’s understandable you would be attracted to your boss, that these feelings would arise because our feelings arise at work all of the time.
There was a Business Insider survey in fact that came out a couple years ago, I think it was 54% of respondents said that they had sex at some point with a coworker. And according to a Career Builder survey, there is a lot of genuine lasting love that blossoms around the water cooler as well.
One in five of their survey respondents started dating in the office and then ended up getting married.
I know you’re excited about me possibly writing this article about whether it is right to date your boss, but I think I’m going to disappoint you when I tell you I think it’s a terrible idea to date your boss.
Any kind of advice that you read whether it is more professionally geared or personally geared, you’re probably going to hear the same thing, that it’s not a very good idea:
a) Because of legalities and company policies unless you’re working at a really small company and
b) Because of the inherent power imbalance that the relationship would be established upon.
That just leaves open a lot of room for potential pressure or coercion to happen that if and let’s be honest, when things go South, if your boss is also your ex, I would assume that unless you two are just very mature, chill people, it could get a little tense.
And you, as the subordinate, have less power in that situation.
Studies also find that in these kind of office romance contexts, women bear the brunt of all the negative gossip, they tend to attract more assumptions of using sex and romance to get ahead, to get more power, to get favoritism, to get promotions, whatever it is.
How in the devil can I keep these rumors from getting started?
Regardless of your gender, if you’re a subordinate dating your boss whatever successes you might achieve or going to be negatively judged, people will assume that it has to do with conflicts of interest, favoritism and then on top of that, you get the double penalty of the sexist assumptions that women in the workplace are only able to sleep their way to the top rather than accomplishing things on their own two stilettos, am I right ladies?And it’s also worth mentioning the issue of sexual harassment.
When a superior is dating a subordinate, their are generally concerns about it being a consensual relationship because that boss could be using his or her authority to be a little bit more coercive in his or her advances.
Let’s get some dinner and maybe some sweet dessert and I’ll explain an easier way to get these reports done.
The term sexual harassment didn’t even exist before 1975. These policies that have been put in place to help protect us and actually help us especially as women get ahead were hard won and I think that it’s worth considering just sort of the, the broader ramifications of this kind of thing.
And if I was in her position and I had genuine feelings for my boss, my boss had genuine feelings for me and we were like, “Oh what are we going to do?‘, I would bounce that ball into the boss’s court.
I want you to consider all of the risks and come up with a business plan for this relationship,and that business plan might involve signing something called a Cupid Contract that some companies enforce where you sign a legal document saying listen this is a consensual relationship or that might involve one of you getting a new job, getting a new position, getting as far away from each other on the company ladder as possible.
I think this stems from my intense desire to have a relationship and having sex outside one isn’t “ok” for me to do.
I guess I’m just getting over the cultural slut/king-shaming which surrounds us and hammers into our brains that women who enjoy sexual stuff are bad, impure, etc.
In my opinion this is one of the main reasons for many women, same as internalized fat phobia and others which stops us from loving and enjoying ourselves because the society insists we shouldn’t unless we fit certain standards.
‘ Whether you’re curious about post-coital blues, or to date your boss or anything that comes to your mind, it’s important to look at the bigger picture before you make any bad decisions which you are going to regret later in life.Now that I’ve explained that enough, I’m curious to hear from you listeners, do you think it’s ever acceptable to date your boss? Have you ever dated a boss or are you a boss who has dated a subordinate? Let me know all the juicy details in the comments below.